Hello everyone!
I am probably a bit devoid of humor today, blame the Canadian sun, it's dried up every sense of humor I could have right now.
I was thinking the other day, that the last couple of years (post-COVID) have probably been the years during which I have seen the most growth, both as a person and professionally within a short period. All the negatives and frustrations I experienced in the past made me the person I am, and I have to say I am pretty satisfied with where I am today.
Professionally, I have become incredibly determined to deliver value and be creative in my problem-solving, and let's just say it's working quite well. In the past, I wasn't necessarily given accommodations/ understanding because I was hearing impaired. I was expected to perform at the same standards as someone with complete hearing (from college to university to post-grad) using the tools at my disposal. (which in retrospect is quite a lot to ask, but I wouldn't have it any other way) It was a survive-or-die situation (metaphorically of course). I have written in the past, about how I struggled with accents and communication (link here). Believe it or not, I had to relearn how to write at age 7 and crash six years of primary school learning into basically three years. This is a story I will tell someday.
I also needed to survive as an immigrant, not the daughter OF an immigrant, but as an immigrant. In retrospect, I am learning these are two VERY distinct nuanced experiences. Not having my parents there to solve all my problems for me or call someone they knew to help me out. Wow, I had to grow up. FAST.
Once I started my career, it was the same thing. My career has not been a linear one. I had to restart my career in about three different industries. There was the frustration of starting from scratch and having zero industry knowledge, when where I was wasn't quite working for me or because I had moved countries. These were credible career fields, initially in Human Resources in the aviation industry, Trade/commodity financing with South American and Greek banks, and then advisory/consulting at the Big 4 before I got to where I am now. I did not care for it at the time, however, what I have realized now is that this gave me the necessary skills to be good at my job and It is only in the last few years I have seen its results. I love that I have become an incredibly pragmatic, driven, and disciplined person despite it all.
I have also had to learn how to build/communicate more effectively and I realized being hearing impaired, doesn't correlate with one's listening skills. I would say being hearing impaired is a superpower as it makes me sensitive to a lot that is not being verbally communicated. I have had to rely on cues and body language, facial microexpressions. This has been quite crucial in developing my emotional intelligence.
Top 5 Lessons Learned:
Most people, really just want to be heard. I ask a lot of questions, simply because I have a curious mind and that's my way of making friends or getting to know a person, but in doing this, I get quite a lot of information that makes me happy that I asked. Disclaimer: Not everyone loves being asked questions, some may find it uncomfortable and that is quite fine, but I usually like to err on the side of a positive response and use my emotional judgment.
People are more at ease when you smile at them. I have been told multiple times that I have a lovely smile, which I never really took seriously until I was an adult and made a conscious effort to smile at people before I spoke to them. The differences in their responses and how I am treated are truly remarkable. It's so easy to forget but so important to remember. This is why I make sure I keep up with my dental appointments!
You would think this goes without saying, but it's shocking how many people don't realize this: when you consistently add value and maintain a good and positive attitude, it builds a lot of goodwill. It's like putting money in the bank. I don't always consider it an iron-clad safety measure but it goes a long way.
Being respected is more important than being loved. I used to hear this a lot when I was younger, but I didn't quite understand it. However. as a black woman with hearing loss in North America. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized.
In the grand scheme of things, hearing loss is just a part of my story. I'm pretty sure if you ask anyone about me, my hearing loss is not one of the top three things they would tell you about me.
None of this information is revolutionary or breaking news, but it is something that I have consistently thought about while reflecting on the past few years.
What I would tell a parent with a child with hearing loss:
Over the past few years, there has been an increased awareness and acceptance of hearing loss. Thanks to this platform, I have been contacted by parents regarding their children who have hearing loss. I most certainly understand the anxiety and uncertainty about the future of their kids. Here are some additional insights on what has shaped me into who I am today.
What I would like to encourage parents of children with hearing loss and by extension, disabilities, is to encourage them to read. It expands their world, the realm of what's possible, their knowledge, their intellect, and if you can afford it travel and explore. It doesn't have to be a 5-star resort luxury trip. It doesn't even have to be outside of the country. It encourages kids to interact with other individuals, outside of their everyday world and simulates their curiosity. Also get them involved in extracurricular activities, depending on their comfort level and what their hearing loss will allow. Swimming is always a great option!
Teach your kids the important values. Listen, the world is already a difficult place and not necessarily always kind to people with disabilities. If your kid is unlikeable and spoilt, they're not going to get the help and support they need when you're not there. Once they understand the importance of being polite, kind, considerate, courteous, and regulating their emotions, that's more than half of the problem they would encounter solved.
It's also important to teach your kids to politely be assertive, and push back within reason when they are being bullied or spoken to condescendingly. Weak/unassertive people make quick fodders for people who are emotionally unhealthy and trust me you do not want to deal with the consequence of this.
Do you have any additional insights that has helped you become the person you are today? I'd love to hear them! - let me know in the comment section.
Until next time!
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Luxus Replik Uhren
replica breitling
This is Beautiful, Inspiring and Encouraging! Yes Your Smile is really beautiful. I feel I know you much better now, thanks a lot for sharing. We all have amazing stories to share to help other, we navigate through the tough to Grow stronger and make things easier for others.
Better to be respected than Loved is profound! Yes and we are immigrants and not sons and daughters OF! Growing up FAST was the only option. I miss my parents too! Good read!
I’m learning so much, thank you for sharing your journey. I’m particularly grateful for the practical steps you share to help with some of the daily challenges.
This is you truly living out what you said - adding value + maintaining a positive response. A true light to the world!
-Ayo
Dear Bukola,
I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate the incredible growth and impact you've made in your career and personal life. Your journey is nothing short of inspiring.
Navigating the challenges that come with being hearing impaired while excelling in your career is a testament to your strength, determination, and resilience. You have not only faced these challenges head-on but have also turned them into a powerful story of success and perseverance.
Your commitment to personal growth is evident in all that you do. Whether it's through advancing in your career, building meaningful relationships, or contributing positively to the community, you have consistently shown that nothing can stand in the way of your goals. Your ability…